Our parsha opens with Yaakov going towards his destiny, so unsure that, after the dream-revelation of the ladder, he makes a pact with God – with words that will raise eyebrows throughout the centuries. “If God is with me… and watches me as I go… and gives me food and clothing… and if I return home… then I will make this pillar a house for God and I’ll give God 10%.” And Yaakov is not the only one dreaming in this portion, but Lavan dreams as well, a dream that prevents Lavan from attacking Yaakov as he, after 20 years, decides to head home with his wives, children and flocks.
The place, we know, will become called Mahanayim, literally, camps, as Yaakov will realize that he has grown incredibly much since 20 years ago, when he crossed that very same place only with his staff, and had uttered those words.
It is Rabbi Sacks, z”l, that says that “Where what you want to do meets what needs to be done, that is where God wants you to be.” Yaakov seems to live those words, and really embodies the inheritance he struggled so much to receive.
Now, we would be doing ourselves a disservice if we look at Yaakov’s story as just that – a story about a person. It is also a symbol about what happens within us: Yaakov’s struggle to find balance is our own struggle.
Yaakov is pulled and pushed between forces that are beyond his control.
First, between being truthful and deception – finding ways to wiggle out of difficult positions with massaging, at best, words – and sometimes being outright deceitful. And sometimes being caught himself in lies by other characters, having a taste of his own medicine, learnig the importance of truth.
Second, between his mother and his father, between being inside the tents, protected and sheltered; and being outside, running for his life, going to an unknown place with unknown people, his only companion his shepherd’s staff.
Third, Yaakov is pulled between Avraham and Yitzchak – having learned expansion and compassion with Avraham, and limitation and constriction with Yitzchak.
Forth, between two strong women who are his wives, two strong impulses – the beautiful Rachel, whom he desires and loves, being pulled down to earth by her; and the soulful Leah, whose only striking feature are her eyes, a symbol of the soul in all cultures, pulling him to spirituality and the life of the soul.
And note that all this happens to Yaakov before his struggle with the angel, before the meeting with Esav, before the cycle of Yosef. Yaakov, as we see him in this portion, has no idea that after finding balance in what looks like a tremendous amount of struggle, there is a lot more in store for him: the confrontation with Esav, the rape of Dina and the matter of Shechem, and the sale of Yosef.
Everything we read about Yaakov so far, all those people, all the incidents, all the manipulations are symbols for the pulls and pushes inside our own souls. All those are forces that we are trying to deal with, searching for the ways we can become more refined through our lives in this world.
It is in that sense that the Zohar will understand that Yaakov is connected to the sefira of Tif’eret, of balance and beauty. A beautiful life is a life that finds balance through all its struggles, that keeps going trying to uncover its meaning even after what looks like meaning is found.
May we be inspired, this week, to embrace our soulful growth through our struggles.
Shabbat shalom.